These are some short stories about me getting hurt. Hope you have many lulz at my failure.

When I was a little kid, my mom carried me around a lot. Usually, when I jumped, she caught me. So, I tried jumping on her without any warning. Of course, she didn't catch me and I fell about 3 feet down to the hardwood floor. Ow.

This happened a long, long time ago, so the memories are a bit blurry. All I remember is me as a 3-year old, watching my dad shave. I thought, "If he's shaving", why don't I?" I took the razor when nobody was home and proceeded to basically shave off all the skin on the front of my chin. It was red for a year, and to this day, it's still pretty rough around there.